- March 2014
- December 2013
- June 2013
- March 2013
- September 2013
- From the Editor’s Desk
- Bloom Where You Are Planted and Where You Are Transplanted
- The Change Game
- Ten Tender Weeks: The Countdown
- The Chap Who Lives in a Flat
- Conspiracy Theory
- The Closers
- He Knows
- Surprising Steps with a Friendly Wind
- If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It!
- Walking the Talk
- Message in a Bottle
- January 2013
Cadence in My Life
Cadence in My Life
By Linda Gage
Thump-thump, pitter-patter, lub-dub, flutter-flutter, crack-snap? What words can describe the beat of a heart? Can it be described accurately? What can start or stop a heartbeat?
Thump-thump went my heart, bringing on a single, terrifying night I have never forgotten. I lay awake, unable to sleep, when thumping burst from my chest. It was very sudden and alarming. My eyes grew wide and darted around the room, but I couldn’t see a thing in the dark.
For fear of fainting, I crawled to the kitchen and gulped down two glasses of water, which did not help. I curled up on the floor, clutched my chest, and stared at the clock. For the next three hours I watched the minutes pass as the thumping came and went. Fear encompassed me that night over thirty-three years ago.
Pitter-patter went my heart in anticipation of walking down the aisle. I could see my future husband waiting for me, and my heart raced with excitement. We had only met three months earlier, which made our marriage seem impetuous to others. The only thing I knew was that I wanted to be with him all the time and forever. Just as my heart skipped each time I saw him or heard his voice, my heart went pitter-patter with every step toward the altar. Happiness filled that day twenty-nine years ago.
Lub-dub goes the heart, as the medical professionals describe it. I went to college to become an ultrasonographer. I take pictures with sound. In my field, I have seen hearts beating from pre-born to over one hundred years old. I have witnessed the excitement of parents looking at their unborn baby’s beating heart, and the anticipation of an older person as they wait for the ultrasound exam to determine what is wrong with theirs. Though the sharing of the lub-dub may bring joy or anxiety, I have found satisfaction in knowing that I have helped others for the past twenty-four years.
Crack-snap went my heart one Sunday as I sat in a church listening to the pastor speak about Jesus. Something was happening to my heart and I didn’t know if I should stay seated or run for an ambulance. Just then, a sunbeam peeked through the stained glass window and shone on my face. I stayed in my seat, and the pastor continued, “God sent Jesus to die for you. He took the punishment for your sins!”
God loves me? This concept seemed unreal. The sunshine warmed my face while the Son melted my hard heart. This was my rebirth. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and peace overwhelmed me on that day, twenty-three years ago.
Flutter-flutter . . . to absolute silence. Silent as a brick, I thought as I laid my head across my mother’s chest. Just a few, short minutes before I could hear and feel her heart beat . . . and then it was still. Just like that. Strokes happen, brain activity ceases, decisions need to be made.
With her children and their spouses surrounding her, my mother’s heartbeat went from flutter-flutter to silence. Indescribable sadness and unanswered questions overcame us on that day, six years ago.
What makes the heart beat? The better question is: Who makes the heart beat? Only God can create, start, and stop a heart beating. I know this.
Nowadays, instead of fearing the thump-thump that my worries may instigate, I take my troubles to the Lord. I relish every pitter-patter moment with my husband. I accept the continued cracking of the sin from my heart, as God shows me, and I thank Him every day that my heart goes lub-dub. I will continue to thank God until the moment my own heartbeat goes silent because, from that moment forward, every day will be filled with celebration in the presence of Jesus, my Lord and Savior.